It’s really, actually, 100% happening!
It’s really, actually, 100% happening!
It’s really, actually, 100% happening!
A brief assignment that I did for English class for Valentine’s Day (edited a little bit since my first draft sucked but I don’t feel like hand-writing out another one).
When it comes to love, literature has taught me that “happily ever after” is a universally obtainable reality. Literature taught me that happily ever after should be desired. Literature taught me that I need to find my Prince Charming; it taught me that I am not more than the sum of who loves me.
But literature also taught me that love exists beyond the Prince Charmings and the happily ever afters. Literature taught me that love can move mountains or crumble them. It taught me that love is beautiful when pure and disastrous when violated. It taught me how to appreciate the beauty in things I wouldn’t have given a second glance otherwise.
Things that I want/desperately need: A lesbian guidebook. I need this. So. So. Desperately.
Last week at hot topic, I bought a Vault Boy tshirt.
I’ve written once in the past for Sophia’s awesome blog, and it started with a poem “The Declaration of Empathy”, but I knew I wanted more than just a poem. You can expect more posts like these, this is the first attempt, the rough freshman attempt, but in a series of many (hopefully). I have so many blog posts, tweets, and all sorts of social media posts rattling around in my head, but none ever seem to come full circle into actually pressing the “Return” key and sending it off into the world.
And that’s because I’m scared. In general I’m a worrisome, terrified, anxious girl, but this fear transcends my normal paranoia. I’m scared to have an honest online presence. I’m sure many people are, but I’m not scared of posting a drunken video to Instagram late at night, I’m scared of death threats and making sure to reveal as little as possible. Even though it’s 2015 (fucking crazy, I know), people are still afraid and assholes about gayness. I would say I don’t blame them, but that would be an outrageous lie, and this post, and all future posts, are about honesty.
I’m still a baby dyke, but in the past months of living my life as a “moderately out” lesbian, I’ve learned soooo much, and even better, I’ve found out that I have so much more to learn. Although, up to this point I haven’t been “out” on social media, I have guzzled every drop of gayness on other people’s blogs, twitters, tumblrs, etc. The problem is that there aren’t young gay girls out there, and those who are out there, browsing Autostraddle late at night, aren’t posting things and I’m guilty of this myself. I see so many cute lesbian couples out there posing and being generally adorable, but where are the young girls posting about the girlfriend they want or the awkward flirting that happened at the one gay event they managed to go to. I can’t find it. I need it. But I don’t just crave it, I think it’s incredibly important.
I’m going to go on what seems like a bit of a tangent but trust me it’ll come full circle. When I was in first grade, I planned on marrying my best friend, Tara (not her real name), and I was firm in my belief that this was what I wanted. That was true until I saw the millions of straight people thrown at me, young, old, middle-aged, married, divorced, and unlabeled. I was berated repeatedly by not only the mouths of trusted people, but society, that it was wrong for a six year old girl to marry her best friend. It threatened and scared people even for little girls to be together. Even though I was a very intuitive child, I was not intuitive enough to see through their bullshit.
The point of this tangent is that representation in the media is sooo important. Not just for women, being represented as more than just sex objects. Not just for “real sex” instead of just “hot sex” in the media. But for young queer girls. Please society, I beg you. More. Young. Queer. Girls. In the media. Please.
A note to the young LGBTQ girls out there,
I see you. Lets start a fucking revolution. Tweet with #theyoungqueerrevolution if you’re with me! My twitter handle is @crayjo I’ll try to come out from the social media closet I’ve been hiding in and tweet for you. We are the revolution. We deserve more than sexualization in the media. More than living in a room made for clothes. More than slurs and fear. More than hiding.
You are so fucking loved,
Sophia’s note: Josephine, I adore you and you are so courageous. I don’t have any sort of a Twitter but someone better make this hashtag go viral. Thank you for this post, and I hope we’ll see a lot more from you!! xoxo
At the end of February/end of March, I WILL BE PUBLISHING A BOOK.
Well, self-publishing. On the amazon ebook store.
It’s a book of poetry that’s probably gonna be anywhere between 60-100 pages long. I’ll tell you guys more about it as I start to really solidify the story (oh, yeah, it’s a book of narrative poetry, by the way). There’s gonna be like a big cover reveal and everything. It’s for my sophomore project this year and I’m suuuuuuper fuckin excited.
I’m looking for people who’d like to read it and give reviews when the time comes!! I’d prefer that you pay for the book because having people pay you for stories is SO COOL, but it’s not like the goal of this endeavor is to make money and there could very well be people who can’t pay, so I could just as easily send you a copy for free on google docs in exchange for a review. Additionally, if there’s anyone who would like to give pre-publishing feedback/edits, that would be totally fantastic too. Leave a comment or shoot me an email if you’re interested !!
Happy MLK day ❤
There was once a little boy.
When he was in the third grade, he
held a butterfly on the palm of his hand. He
watched the way the light glinted off its wings.
He watched with delight how the colors would sing
their sweet songs into the blue, blue sky.
But the other boys didn’t like the butterfly.
When they saw the light in the boy’s eyes, they
pushed at him and pulled on his hair. They
called him names and said he was acting like a girl.
Because these boys, they felt that they had the world
held firmly in the grips of their fists.
okay a) I realize that it’s Monday, but it’s probably Tuesday somewhere in the world and b) be proud of me for actually continuing with a series of posts for once!!!
So, I always see posts on tumblr and on here and wherever else that say stuff like “the day I dress to impress a man is the day I am being lowered into the ground” or “wing your eyeliner if you want, wear no makeup if you want, it’s all for you.” And things like this are good things. Great things, really, through and through. But I just honestly don’t feel like they apply to me all that much.
There’s not a lot that I do that I feel is 100% for myself. It’s not like I consider that fact a bad thing—it’s largely by design. I’m the very definition of an extrovert, and I like to share my identity with the world. There are times when I like feelings of anonymity, because I feel like it creates a stronger group “vibe” (at music festivals, for example), but for the most part I like to just kinda get myself out there.
So, I present to you:
The Top Five Things That Maybe Should Be For Myself But Aren’t
Popped into my head. Sorry that I haven’t been posting much (and what I have posted hasn’t been very good). I love you all. Happy holidays if there’s anything you celebrate. If not, happy winter.
I have no words.
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