Sexuality

The Lesbian Guidebook: The Ramblings of A Baby Dyke (Post 2.) by Josephine D.

Things that I want/desperately need: A lesbian guidebook. I need this. So. So. Desperately.
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Why Do I Only See “Them” on TV? Where am I? The Ramblings of A Baby Dyke (Post 1.) By Josephine D.

I’ve written once in the past for Sophia’s awesome blog, and it started with a poem “The Declaration of Empathy”, but I knew I wanted more than just a poem. You can expect more posts like these, this is the first attempt, the rough freshman attempt, but in a series of many (hopefully). I have so many blog posts, tweets, and all sorts of social media posts rattling around in my head, but none ever seem to come full circle into actually pressing the “Return” key and sending it off into the world.

And that’s because I’m scared. In general I’m a worrisome, terrified, anxious girl, but this fear transcends my normal paranoia. I’m scared to have an honest online presence. I’m sure many people are, but I’m not scared of posting a drunken video to Instagram late at night, I’m scared of death threats and making sure to reveal as little as possible. Even though it’s 2015 (fucking crazy, I know), people are still afraid and assholes about gayness. I would say I don’t blame them, but that would be an outrageous lie, and this post, and all future posts, are about honesty.

I’m still a baby dyke, but in the past months of living my life as a “moderately out” lesbian, I’ve learned soooo much, and even better, I’ve found out that I have so much more to learn. Although, up to this point I haven’t been “out” on social media, I have guzzled every drop of gayness on other people’s blogs, twitters, tumblrs, etc. The problem is that there aren’t young gay girls out there, and those who are out there, browsing Autostraddle late at night, aren’t posting things and I’m guilty of this myself. I see so many cute lesbian couples out there posing and being generally adorable, but where are the young girls posting about the girlfriend they want or the awkward flirting that happened at the one gay event they managed to go to. I can’t find it. I need it. But I don’t just crave it, I think it’s incredibly important.

I’m going to go on what seems like a bit of a tangent but trust me it’ll come full circle. When I was in first grade, I planned on marrying my best friend, Tara (not her real name), and I was firm in my belief that this was what I wanted. That was true until I saw the millions of straight people thrown at me, young, old, middle-aged, married, divorced, and unlabeled. I was berated repeatedly by not only the mouths of trusted people, but society, that it was wrong for a six year old girl to marry her best friend. It threatened and scared people even for little girls to be together. Even though I was a very intuitive child, I was not intuitive enough to see through their bullshit.

The point of this tangent is that representation in the media is sooo important. Not just for women, being represented as more than just sex objects. Not just for “real sex” instead of just “hot sex” in the media. But for young queer girls. Please society, I beg you. More. Young. Queer. Girls. In the media. Please.

A note to the young LGBTQ girls out there,

I see you. Lets start a fucking revolution. Tweet with #theyoungqueerrevolution if you’re with me! My twitter handle is @crayjo I’ll try to come out from the social media closet I’ve been hiding in and tweet for you. We are the revolution. We deserve more than sexualization in the media. More than living in a room made for clothes. More than slurs and fear. More than hiding.

You are so fucking loved,

~Josephine D.

Sophia’s note: Josephine, I adore you and you are so courageous. I don’t have any sort of a Twitter but someone better make this hashtag go viral. Thank you for this post, and I hope we’ll see a lot more from you!! xoxo

Top Five Tuesday (#2: Me, Myself, and I (And Other People))

okay a) I realize that it’s Monday, but it’s probably Tuesday somewhere in the world and b) be proud of me for actually continuing with a series of posts for once!!!

So, I always see posts on tumblr and on here and wherever else that say stuff like “the day I dress to impress a man is the day I am being lowered into the ground” or “wing your eyeliner if you want, wear no makeup if you want, it’s all for you.” And things like this are good things. Great things, really, through and through. But I just honestly don’t feel like they apply to me all that much.

There’s not a lot that I do that I feel is 100% for myself. It’s not like I consider that fact a bad thing—it’s largely by design. I’m the very definition of an extrovert, and I like to share my identity with the world. There are times when I like feelings of anonymity, because I feel like it creates a stronger group “vibe” (at music festivals, for example), but for the most part I like to just kinda get myself out there.

So, I present to you:

The Top Five Things That Maybe Should Be For Myself But Aren’t
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The Good, The Bad, and the Aerie

For those of you who don’t know, Aerie is a store for teenagers and young adults that sells primarily bras and panties, as well as really comfy, nice pajamas. Aerie is an offshoot/subsidiary/child of American Eagle. Their customers are almost entirely young women (including me !!!) and their ads are entirely targeted toward young women and girls. Their most recent ad campaign is the This girl has not been retouched campaign. And I have to say, I’m liking it a lot so far.

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Stand Up

I should stand up for you
In that stupid irrelevant English class
I should explain and aid your argument when
Those who have never felt the need to escape
Say that you’re stupid for even bothering to talk about how suicide is romanticized
Because they couldn’t ever understand why it even matters

And I should speak up
When they make fun of your technicolor hair
(Which, by the way, is fucking awesome)
And I should say something to them
When they ask why you dress the way you do
I should make them understand

And I should cry out
When they call you “she” instead of “he”
When they call you by the dirty name you got at birth
Instead of the beautiful one you chose for yourself
Yes, I know I should stand up

And I should get over my stupid fear
Of not being liked because
My anxieties over the way people see me couldn’t possibly be
Anything compared to yours
And I should declare my allegiance and
Share my love and
I should stand up

And my hope is that in
Some other life you’ll
Be able to forgive me for
Staying silent and sitting down and
Leaving you
To stand up alone

Nanowrimo, Transgenderness, and School Wifi

Remember a few days ago when I said I’m really stressed out and I don’t feel like I have anything relevant to say?

I changed my mind.

I have something relevant to say today.
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Teenage Flirting (Part 1: Is it really harassment?)

If there’s one truth in this world, it is this: The majority of teenagers are really really horny, and most are more than happy to engage their urges and mess around with someone else. Flirting is, for the most part, pretty natural and usually harmless. But at what point is flirting seen as harassment? (and, conversely, when can harassment be seen as flirting?) There are plenty of girls I know who feel powerful due to the boys who make stupid passes at them—and other girls who just feel like shit because members of the opposite sex won’t leave them alone.

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What Christian Apparently Means

Here we go again, guys! The previous post (with the links to all other involved posts) can be found here

The post which I am replying to can be found here

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The Saga Continues

The original post can be found here

My first response can be found here

The second exchange and my response can be found here

The most recent response from McCain can be found here

Alrighty then. Let’s get going with this.

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