I am, in fact, still alive

Hi! It has been an insane few months since we saw each other last.

Well, I’ve started my junior year of high school, for one. I’ve been doing a bunch of volunteer work. I’m speech and debate captain. I’m a participant in both my school orchestra and the county orchestra (audition-only). I’m working on my full International Baccalaureate diploma, which is totally crazy.

I’ve had a boyfriend for six months now. He’s a hockey player and a bass player. He is caring and funny and wildly intelligent, and I’ve never met a boy I could talk to more easily. I feel like we’ve got something really real.

In September (a week after my 16th birthday) I was admitted to a psychiatric unit to be treated for PTSD, severe anxiety, depressive tendencies, depersonalization-derealization disorder, self-harm, and active suicidal ideation. Quite the list, right? I certainly have quite a lot to thank my dad for.

That pretty much sums up my past several months. I know I’ve dropped off the map, and honestly, I have little intention of sticking around. But I didn’t want anyone to worry. How’ve the rest of you been?

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