Why Do I Only See “Them” on TV? Where am I? The Ramblings of A Baby Dyke (Post 1.) By Josephine D.

I’ve written once in the past for Sophia’s awesome blog, and it started with a poem “The Declaration of Empathy”, but I knew I wanted more than just a poem. You can expect more posts like these, this is the first attempt, the rough freshman attempt, but in a series of many (hopefully). I have so many blog posts, tweets, and all sorts of social media posts rattling around in my head, but none ever seem to come full circle into actually pressing the “Return” key and sending it off into the world.

And that’s because I’m scared. In general I’m a worrisome, terrified, anxious girl, but this fear transcends my normal paranoia. I’m scared to have an honest online presence. I’m sure many people are, but I’m not scared of posting a drunken video to Instagram late at night, I’m scared of death threats and making sure to reveal as little as possible. Even though it’s 2015 (fucking crazy, I know), people are still afraid and assholes about gayness. I would say I don’t blame them, but that would be an outrageous lie, and this post, and all future posts, are about honesty.

I’m still a baby dyke, but in the past months of living my life as a “moderately out” lesbian, I’ve learned soooo much, and even better, I’ve found out that I have so much more to learn. Although, up to this point I haven’t been “out” on social media, I have guzzled every drop of gayness on other people’s blogs, twitters, tumblrs, etc. The problem is that there aren’t young gay girls out there, and those who are out there, browsing Autostraddle late at night, aren’t posting things and I’m guilty of this myself. I see so many cute lesbian couples out there posing and being generally adorable, but where are the young girls posting about the girlfriend they want or the awkward flirting that happened at the one gay event they managed to go to. I can’t find it. I need it. But I don’t just crave it, I think it’s incredibly important.

I’m going to go on what seems like a bit of a tangent but trust me it’ll come full circle. When I was in first grade, I planned on marrying my best friend, Tara (not her real name), and I was firm in my belief that this was what I wanted. That was true until I saw the millions of straight people thrown at me, young, old, middle-aged, married, divorced, and unlabeled. I was berated repeatedly by not only the mouths of trusted people, but society, that it was wrong for a six year old girl to marry her best friend. It threatened and scared people even for little girls to be together. Even though I was a very intuitive child, I was not intuitive enough to see through their bullshit.

The point of this tangent is that representation in the media is sooo important. Not just for women, being represented as more than just sex objects. Not just for “real sex” instead of just “hot sex” in the media. But for young queer girls. Please society, I beg you. More. Young. Queer. Girls. In the media. Please.

A note to the young LGBTQ girls out there,

I see you. Lets start a fucking revolution. Tweet with #theyoungqueerrevolution if you’re with me! My twitter handle is @crayjo I’ll try to come out from the social media closet I’ve been hiding in and tweet for you. We are the revolution. We deserve more than sexualization in the media. More than living in a room made for clothes. More than slurs and fear. More than hiding.

You are so fucking loved,

~Josephine D.

Sophia’s note: Josephine, I adore you and you are so courageous. I don’t have any sort of a Twitter but someone better make this hashtag go viral. Thank you for this post, and I hope we’ll see a lot more from you!! xoxo

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