Before reading this post please read this post over here. Just in case you can’t read it, I’ll give you a general summary. This person has gone through the various issues in my life and attributed them to the affects of a demonic haunting caused by the use of a Ouija Board.
Alright. Let’s dive in.
The blogger at “Please Excuse My Vagina: My life as a teenage feminist” will probably notice the trackback, and to her this should be a warning — as it should be to anyone tempted to try “messing around” with the occult. WARNING: EVIL IS REAL.
Maybe you’re not religious. Maybe you think the Bible is just a lot of superstitious nonsense. Nevertheless, evil is real, and even if you think you’re just “messing around” with it, you are in danger.
Those weird coincidences you keep noticing? They’re not coincidences.
Life has a meaning and purpose. We are not random collections of atoms. Human beings have spirits — souls — and our lives are part of something larger than ourselves. Most people do not notice the evidence of this larger meaning and purpose. They lack a spiritual awareness and do not contemplate the relationship between their own mundane existence and the eternal truth of the cosmos. And so they do not notice that seemingly random events aren’t actually random.
Actually, for the record, my blog decided that the high amount of links in your post were considered spam and didn’t notify me of the trackback. However, I noticed in my list of referrers (and I’ve been getting quite a bit of traffic from this post, thank you for that by the way) and here we are. I intend to respond to each part of this post and to many of the comments individually.
I am well aware of the fact that evil is real—evil is found in the form of rapists and murderers and abusers. I’m not arguing you there. However, I tend to disagree with the assertion that evil is found in the form of beings in hell who seek to devour a human’s soul if they touch themselves, or fail to conform to gender roles, or any other number of things. I’m not trying to invalidate your beliefs and I can entirely respect the opinions that you hold, I just want to assert right off the bat that these opinions are not ones I share.
That being said, I too am of the opinion that human beings have souls. It’s a very Pagan belief, actually. And while I don’t worship the Pagan gods or nature rituals or anything of the sort, I do hold a belief in the human soul. I think it’s a beautiful concept. I also agree that humans are far more than just a collection of atoms. Humans are love and light and a beauty that amazes me on a daily basis. I also don’t think events are simply random. I’d love to believe everything happens for a reason.
And, for the record, this “evil board” cost me eleven dollars at Toys R Us and is made from cardboard and plastic.
So you were “messing around with a Ouija board” — random.
And your first boyfriend was a manipulative jerk — random.
Then you were riding home from your dance recital and, for no apparent reason, your dad got angry and started shouting at you.
Is all this random? Just a coincidence?
“I’m a self-righteous bitch. I don’t have any religion. . . .
I was raised in a liberal household, being taught
that everyone’s opinion is equal and valid, and
also being taught to value my own opinions.”
OK, I guess, except that if “everyone’s opinion is equal and valid,” you can’t really have any core foundational beliefs, which might be a problem when you start to fear that you’re going insane
Okay, so, on the subject of Chris. Yeah, he was a manipulative jerk; certainly no arguments from me there. However, I don’t really think that had anything to do with the use of the Ouija board—we had an on-again-off-again thing going on since fifth grade (he was already manipulative then, I just didn’t realize it at the time) which was long before I ever used a Ouija board. And actually, Chris is a good, god-fearing individual just like the person who wrote this post. He services every Sunday, bible study, the whole nine yards. He actually wasn’t allowed to date me at all because I’m neither of the same belief as him nor of the same race as him. So I don’t really think demons (whether they exist or not) had anything to do with his manipulative asshole tendencies.
On the subject of my dad—well, he had no reason to yell at me from my point of view. He gave plenty of reasons, they just didn’t seem like valid ones to me. And I’m gonna tell you a secret: my dad has, on top of a whole host of other things, bipolar disorder, and has had bipolar disorder long before my use of a Ouija board. To be frank, I find the idea that my use of a Ouija board caused my dad to fly into a manic rage, to be incredibly disrespectful. Whether you’re of the belief that mental illness is caused by demons or not doesn’t change the fact that he is abusive toward me due to his mental illness. It’s the sad fact of the matter, but I strongly disagree with the assertion that my dad’s abuse was caused by me using a Ouija board.
The good news: If you think you’re going crazy, you’re probably not. As long as you have enough self-awareness to recognize these ideas and behaviors as abnormal, you’re not insane . . . yet.
The bad news: If it doesn’t get better, that means it’s getting worse, because the persistence of the symptoms is itself symptomatic.
Anybody can have crazy feelings or spells of depression once in a while. If these things persist, however, the word “chronic” applies, and your morbid obsessions — your irrational death-related ideations — are not encouraging in that regard.
Those irrational, death-related ideations? Yeah, those started when I was eleven years old. Again, long before I ever used a Ouija board. Noticing a pattern here?
So, let’s get back to the reality of evil and that Ouija board incident. Lots of kids try “messing around” with the occult in this manner, without thinking that they thereby make themselves vulnerable to evil. It’s like the concept of marijuana as a “gateway drug”; you start “messing around” with weed, next thing you try LSD or Ecstasy, then prescription pain-killers or meth, and one day a dopehead friend tells you she’s tried heroin and you think, “Hmmm.”
Same deal with “messing around” with the occult. Sure, a Ouija board is a silly child’s game. But will it stop there? Maybe next you’ll be “messing around” with astrology or tarot cards. You’ll find a friend who shares these interests, and that friend will start telling you about paganism and Wicca and if you keep going in that direction, who knows where you’ll end up? People who say they “don’t have any religion” are often the most vulnerable to the occult, without evidently recognizing that such beliefs are also a religion.
Does it seem to you, however, that there could be a connection between your “messing around” with the occult and your recent emotional disturbances? Because I don’t believe in coincidences, and because evil is real, it strikes me that you may be under the influence of evil — and I mean Evil with a capital “E” — without realizing it.
For the record, the Ouija board incident which is referenced here wasn’t anything of a demonic nature. The lights didn’t flicker and I didn’t feel a cold force come over me. Wanna know what did happen? The Ouija board said I would fuck a girl, and my friends got uncomfortable. That’s all.
Again, I realize I am under the influence of something far from Good—and I mean Good with a capital G—because I am under the influence of anxiety. Anyone with anxiety won’t tell you it’s a walk in the park, and mine is comparatively mild. But you know what they will tell you about anxiety? That it’s caused by a malfunction of the amygdala and ventrolateral prefrontal cortex. And that’s something that most people are born with. In the mild cases (in the case of yours truly) it sometimes occurs during puberty when the amygdala, which processes fear, develops faster than the prefrontal cortex, which processes the response to fear. So unless the demons I (supposedly) released by my use of a Ouja board went back in time and messed with my puberty to cause my amygdala to develop too fast, I think we can safely say my anxiety wasn’t caused by anything supernatural.
My mom has a deck of Tarot cards and they’re actually pretty damn cool. And I find the fact that you consider astrology capital-E-evil to be pretty funny—if god has a plan for everyone, then I guess his plan was for me to be a Virgo!
Rather than being superstitious, let’s exclude the possibility that the “Mystifying Oracle” of the Ouija board summoned forth the spirits to provide the answer to your inquiry. There were five girls involved in that game — yourself, Cara, Chloe, Anne, and Ellie — and let us suppose that at least one of them deliberately manipulated the result.
Who suggested this game and why? What was their motive? Evil has human agents, after all, and if the Powers of Darkness wished to influence you, wouldn’t your “friends” be an obvious means of exercising such an influence? You see that, even if you don’t attribute any magical power to the Ouija board, it can still be an instrument of evil through which your “friends” act to cause you harm.
Were they really surprised?
Okay, let’s get something straight right now. I don’t know what surprise you thought I was referring to (the surprise of the fact the board worked, maybe?) but I was referring to the surprise that I’m bi. So, yeah, my friends were in fact really surprised, because they’re homophobes who are terrified of girls being in love with them. Just wanted to clear that up for ya.
And actually, using the Ouija board was my idea that night—Cara and I bought it in the eighth grade from Toys R Us and we split the cost. All of us are very firm in our belief that the Ouija board is bullshit. It’s just a fun way to spend time, and I’ve read these theories that the answers are actually subconsciously projected by the people in the room by something called the ideomotor effect—the responses you recieve from the board are actually what you think, want, or hope to be true. And I think that’s pretty cool.
If you’ve never read the book The Exorcist, you might want to do that, because it is actually quite a profound meditation on the nature of evil, and our vulnerability to evil. What we call “mental illness” was understood by the ancients as demonic possession, and I’m not sure that modern science is more accurate than the ancient understanding. Psychiatrists keep telling us it’s all neurochemistry — serotonin and synapses, blah, blah, blah — but is insanity always organic? Do crazy people just have bad brains? Isn’t our belief in the omnipotence of science a sort of religion?
Is it not possible that there are things beyond human explanation? Are we who believe in cosmic truth just stupid and ignorant? And what about your own search for answers?
I have, in fact, read The Exorcist (although I’m not allowed to see the movie because rated R horror movies are a no-no for me). And I find it to be so incredibly immature that you’ve cited it as one of your sources. It’s a novel from the 70s, not a scientific journal.
Speaking of science, I actually kind of like the idea that we look to science as a kind of religion. It’s a cool concept. However, and I cannot stress this enough, mental illness is not and was never caused by demonic possession. It wasn’t “understood” so much as misinterpreted. Along with the toxic belief that demonic possession is the cause for mental illness came the horrible mistreatment of those who were mentally ill up until very recently. Although, I’m sure you’re of the mindset that mental illness is as simple as “praying the gay away” so I’m not going to go on because it wouldn’t be worth it.
In regards to my own search for answers? I’m still figuring that out. I would love, and I mean love, to give myself over to religion. But blind faith is something I’ve never been able to possess. People like you who try to tell me I’m possessed by demons are, sadly, only serving to push me further away from the religion you hold so dear. Apart from the other hateful actions of the church, I just really don’t want to be a part of a group of people who think I’m possessed and need to be cleansed. Sorry.
WARNING: Evil is real. If you “don’t know who or what [you’re] praying to,” don’t you think Satan may be listening? Yes, “terrible things happen to people on a daily basis,” but why do think that is? Don’t you think that Evil and Death are partners? And if you surrender to the influence of Evil, what do you think happens next?
Hadn’t you better see if Good and Life are within reach?
As I said, I agree with you that evil is real. However, I don’t agree with your assertion that evil comes in the form of a children’s toy made from cardboard. And you know what? If Satan is listening when I pray then it doesn’t really matter, because it’s not like my prayers are ever answered.
(Also, for the record, the post referred to in this paragraph was written before the “Ouija board incident.” Just saying.)
Darkness still does not comprehend the light.
By the way, Miss Teenage Feminist, isn’t it kind of weird that I found your blog this morning? I’ve been researching radical feminism — a mental illness in its own right — and it is admittedly weird to discover a high school kid writing about “heteronormativity.”
Probably just another random coincidence, eh?
If I or my friends are the darkness to which you refer and you’re the supposed light—then, yeah, I don’t comprehend the light. I don’t comprehend an institution that enforces rigid gender roles, and hates gay people, and demonizes sex (which, by the way, is human nature), and seeks to punish people for simply being born with abnormal brains. I do not and will not comprehend a god whose followers’ thoughts and actions are hateful and vitriolic. What I will comprehend and even embrace is the god who loves all of his creations, and instills love and kindness in those who follow him. That is the god that modern Christians and Catholics tend to speak of but, in my experience, fail to emulate.
I’m totally with you on the idea that radical feminism is a fucking disease which needs to be eradicated. It’s what gives feminism a bad name and is quite frankly bullshit. Glad we could find something that we really agree on. However, I’m not a radfem. I don’t think penile-vaginal intercourse is rape. I don’t think men are inherently evil, and I don’t think women are inherently good.
You know what I find weird? That you found my blog and took the time to not only read several of my most important posts, but to then write a 1600 word article warning me not to use a Ouija board, all based on an offhanded comment that I once used one with my friends (although, I then wrote an even lengthier response, so I won’t even bother going to the stable to get my high horse because I’m just as weird here).
Now, onto the comments.